Hansel and GRRRtel were two cute puppies who lived
in a cottage in the woods, along with their master and his evil
cleaning lady,
who lived there with him and never left because Hansel and GRRRtel were
so good
at making a mess. They were experts at
tracking mud on the carpet, champions at piddling in corners, and pros
when it
came to dragging in dead squirrels. One
day Hansel overheard the cleaning lady complain to Master: “Yuck! Those dogs are making such a shambles of
your nice, clean house! Why don’t you
get rid of them and get a nice goldfish—a good clean pet!
You can take the dogs out to the pond and
drown them.”
“Okay,” said Master. I was getting kind of
annoyed with them, too.”
So the next day,
Master said, “Hansel and GRRRtel! Come
with me! We are going to the pond to hunt
ducks!”
GRRRtel was very
excited until Hansel told her what
Master was really going to do. “But
don’t worry,” he assured her. “I will
leave a trail of poop, and we can
escape before he drowns us and follow it back to our house.”
But Master
was already having feelings of guilt, so
instead of trying to drown his puppies, he just told them to “stay!” in
the
woods, and then went home to watch golf on television.
Hansel and GRRRtel didn’t even have to
escape!
As soon as Master had gone,
the puppies tried to
follow their poop trail home, but there were so many animals in the
woods that
they could not tell which poops were Hansel’s and which belonged to
other
beasts. So they just wandered around
and around until they came upon this nice white building that was made
all of
doggy treats and was surrounded by nice appealing puddles of mud and
earthworms. Little did they know that
in the house lived an evil veterinarian who liked to neuter
animals for
fun!
While Hansel and
GRRRtel were busy eating the doggy
treats and rolling in the worms, the evil veterinarian came out and
said,
“Nibble nibble, like a porpoise….Who’s that nibbling on my orffice?” She couldn’t come up with a better rhyme for
“office.”
“Just us,” said
GRRRtel.
“Well, come in, come
in!” said the vet. “I love dogs!” So Hansel and GRRRtel walked into the nice
white house that
smelled suspiciously of antiseptic and reminded them of the evil
cleaning lady.
“Now,” cackled the
vet, “I will neuter you both!!”
She stuffed Hansel in a cage and told GRRRtel to polish the
operating
table and dust the exam rooms. After
she was done with that, the vet commanded her to go into the x-ray room
and see
if it was warm enough.
“I don’t know how,” complained GRRRtel.
“Like
this.” The veterinarian
crawled into the x-ray, and GRRRtel slammed the door.
Then she rescued Hansel from his cage, and they both found their
way easily to their own house. The
cleaning lady started to yell at them, but they just piddled on her
shoes and
lived happily ever after.
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© 2004 Valerie
Hoy
