Once upon a time, there were three
little pugs
who decided
it was high time to make their own way in the world.
Grown tired of eating pureed Purina and chasing their tails
(which they never seemed able to catch, owing much to their general
disenchantment with this usually pupular canine sport), one day these
fellows
just up and ran away, ready to begin the independent life at last.
Being pugs, the three gentleman looked pretty
much the
same (ridiculous), but they were individualists through and through,
and though
they came to the collective conclusion that the first step toward
independence
is having one’s own abode, each chose to make said abode out of a
different
material.
The first little pug, who had a penchant for
doggy treats
that was inversely proportional to his intellectual capacity, decided
to make
his new dog house out of milk bones.
And what a wonderful, marvelous, excellent, superb, superior dog
house
it was! At least, until the first
little pug ate half of it, and the other half dissolved into a
wonderful,
marvelous, excellent (et cetera) puddle of goo in the first rainstorm
that
happened to hit it.
The second little pug knew better than to build
his house
out of something he liked to eat, so instead he built it out of
something he
didn’t like to eat—heartworm pills!
Unfortunately for Little Pug Number 2, an evil veterinarian
happened to
be passing by, and he stole all the heartworm pills for his patients. He fed one to the little pug, too, thus
traumatizing him for life!
The third little
pug was quite a clever pug, all things considered.
He decided not to build a house at all, knowing that if he did,
the big bad Department of Housing and Urban Development would probably
come to
get him. So he decided to move in with
another bachelor and share the rent.
Which he did.
Little did he know the other bachelor was an
evil
veterinarian, who neutered him, called him “NoNo-BadDog” whenever he
tried to
poop on the floor, and stuffed him with heartworm pills on a regular
basis.
